Day One of this decajour (2/12) started out pretty well: Tyche delivered the focus and I pulled the graf essay notes down from the shelf. Later that day I discovered that my employment world is undergoing a seachange... one that inaugurates a shift back to my writing life by the end of 2014. Gradual, but inexorable.
While most of my cohort in that milieu are taking deep breaths and looking around for the lifeboats, my very first instinct was to celebrate. (Then, of course, like any sane 'Merican, I started to worry.) I get that my "2 maybe 3" years of corporate wage-slavery is over-extended. Another opportunity has revealed itself over the last month or so, but as it appeared with the Merc Rx, I am nervously watching its arrival. We'll see if it can carry me to the next phase.
2/15 Opened up the graf notes from January and went through them, jotting on another notepad anything that seemed interior to the discussion. Time: about an hour.
(Slipped over to WU's place yesterday, interrupting *his* writing, but fetched up a look at the introduction to his new book. Very long, but SO beautiful! And inspiriting. . . )
2/16
Woke up to a long, matronizing letter from my former mentor, recommending Tsultrim Allione's treatment of the Vajrayogini practices. I just shook my head. Um, no. Last week I had an exchange with that lama, in which I questioned the wisdom of allowing her male hierarchy to "bless" the Vajrayogini practices. It's not just unnecessary, it is obstructive. (TA's response was to critique my spelling of Magchik's name...~Sigh~... ) But such are power-mongers, seemingly oblivious to the karmic blow-back of their arrogations.
Fortunately, the Girl in the Bone Bikini is incredibly indulgent with her admirers/abusers, so ultimately no harm, no foul. But this Emanation thinks "what a waste of time!"
~~~
Spent about 4 hours today working on the graf article. Just getting through previous notes took another 2 hours. And now my fiddling-around pixies are trying to take the rudder: "Oh, let's make a website and post the sources!" Good idea, but a distraction. So no.
Looks like I have a working title [Liminal Scripts: underwriting in the subcity]. After three months of twirling that lasso, this is *huge* ~ sets the tone for the whole essay.
2/17 Yesterday, I didn't even get out of bed for the first 6 hours, just pulled the Work off the floor, covered the bed with pages, computers and coffee cups and started chopping through the undergrowth. "Accumule, puis distribue..." said the poet. Managed to clearcut a path to the graf article, and re-discovered this singular fact: I have to have hours and hours and hours to backstroke lazily to the Real. That's just how it is. No 'hour a day' crap, no 'half-day writing/half-day employment,' no errands + writing. It has to be all day, all in.
Don't know how to quantify yesterday's output... I have a certain number of words (about 300), but also a much clearer, overarching sense of the essay's direction. But the real catch-of-the-day was simply recognizing how I work. Yes, I can write in smaller bursts, but nothing I would want to publish.
2/18-21 Not much on the graf piece. Employment situation has gone into hyperdrive - so while I have cast a few wistful glances at the graf manuscript, have made little progress - except for a quick phone call with my co-writer (who happens to be my son).
The total: 13 hours in 10 days. 600 words... and most of those done in the two days I did no other work. I guess a clue is arriving: Must. Organize. Life. Around. Creative. Work.
Right.
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