"A healthy selfishness looks like being intentional, setting boundaries, changing habits, and testing out new patterns in devotion to a big project like writing a book. " JD
I've been following author-inspirationalist Jeffrey Davis for a couple of years. His writing program, Tracking Wonder, turned up on my screen while I was in Cyprus -- via my brilliant friend Saundra Goldman. Although I haven't yet attended the workshops, I have been the delighted recipient of his newsletters. This week's Dispatch wrangles one of the leftover gremlins of my (and most mothers') writing life.
The original doesn't seem to be on his blog or website, so I am sharing the entire letter. Enjoy...
The original doesn't seem to be on his blog or website, so I am sharing the entire letter. Enjoy...
SUNDAY DISPATCH - Jeffrey Davis, TrackingWonder
Why We Need You to be Selfish and Write Your Book Anyway
It turns out that a healthy, deliberate selfishness is characteristic of many high-performing creatives and entrepreneurs who feel fulfilled in many facets of their life - including family, relationships, and work.
They carve out pockets of time for, devote lots of attention to, and invest money & resources in their own projects. So do I. I'm selfish in these ways that let me relish instead of resent other facets of my life - and I support my family and clients to do likewise.
An unhealthy selfishness looks like grabbing and grubbing for scarce resources, not caring about the needs of others, and shutting one's self off from others.
A healthy selfishness looks like being intentional, setting boundaries, changing habits, and testing out new patterns in devotion to a big project like writing a book.
Why do we need you to be selfish this way?
Consider the consequences.
Love & generosity: The people I've researched and worked with who start most of their days or considerable time each month focusing on their book projects report in turn feeling better about the rest of their day. They feel more present and open to demands others make of them.
Clarity of your message & medicine: If you work in a service industry or in another way in which you help people, then there is no substitute - none - for writing a book to give you super-clarity on what you do, what you think, and why it's valuable. Client after client reports that they are better speakers, teachers, and consultants for having written their books.
Change of heart, mind, and life: Similarly, if your hours of time and attention writing and publishing your book translate to your book helping people live, work, relate, or create better, then the impact factor outweighs perceived selfishness.
Contribution to culture: Books build our culture and help us feel more fully human. They are mirrors of, windows to, and artifacts of our quirky, astonishing human minds. They provide knowledge that we simply cannot find in blog articles or magazine articles. They offer stories and imagined worlds that provide rich meditative explorations of the fundamental questions of our species: "Who am I? Who are we as a people?" "What am I here for? What are we here for?" "How can I make life better for myself, others, my community?" "How do I challenge the status quo or abusive authority?" "How do we endure hardship with a grounded hope?"
So, who are you not to contribute to that, however big or small?
If someone calls you "selfish" in these regards, consider it a compliment.
When I was 18 and a college freshman, Walden was the book that cracked open my mind and soul. It was the first inkling that it might be okay to live according to different principles than those I observed at the time. Thoreau's two-year experiment in the woods, a walk away from his friends' and family's homes in Concord, helped him get perspective on our hurried way of life. It helped articulate why he refused to pay taxes to "that state which buys and sells men, women, and children, like cattle at the door of its senate-house." It helped him write "Slavery in Massachusetts" and "Civil Disobedience," whose principles have rippled through civil rights and human rights movements since.
Your book matters. Be selfish for us.
~Jeffrey Davis, Tracking Wonder
I was especially intrigued to see JD's remarks on 'clarity of message.' Not only do I think more clearly, but I perceive more patiently in the deep toil of writing. The search for the right word and rhythm also goes dousing for the key idea itself, whether invisible pyramids in Galveston, Texas; or the mysteries of Greek kilometrics; or the playful contrast of sculptors. There is always far more to write than anyone has time to read, but crafting a beautiful sentence can reveal the kernel of the topic, carrying the reader toward new insight, and sometimes, experience.
The fact that it has a similar effect on the writer is almost an afterthought. Maybe writing that book isn't so selfish, after all.
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